There is never enough time in the day!

21:45 Posted In Edit This 1 Comment »

Last night a good friend of mine installed a new program for me on the computer - corel painter. This software is designed for image enhancement and manipulation as well as graphic design and thus far it seems right up my alley. I have spent the past couple of evenings simply playing with a few of the features, after getting dinner ready, shoveling the walk and finishing off some homework of course.


There in lies the depressing truth. I have a full time job, part time schooling, a boyfriend, a cat and life in general. The usual trappings of adulthood which consist of looking after the house, myself and other inhabitants have a nasty way of eating away at those precious few moments in which to partake of my passion for art. Notice I did not say hobby...


As a kid I drew all the time. I doodled in the margins throughout class, drawing anything from classmates to cartoons. Presents for friends and family often consisted of pictures drawn or painted. I always took a great deal of satisfaction in being able to make something that other people enjoyed. Sometimes I got in trouble for it but no matter. When my mother told me I was going to university (whether I liked it or not) I chose to study art and some of my happiest days were in the studio. The history of art facinates me and the making of art seduces me.


When I am involved with art making time stands still for me. I do not feel hunger or discomfort. I feel a clarity and focus that I rarely encounter anywhere else. The evolution of an idea and the physical process of creation are what I love and why I keep comming back to it. Some people meditate to center / ground themselves, refresh themselves and for a time feel one with the universe. For me the act of creating is my meditation.


So having said that it is no wonder why the constant draining away of precious time is such an aggravation. I have paint, charcoal, canvas and paper - heck now I have this lovely computer program, and I have so little time to use any of it. I tell myself that once my course is done (sometime in june) then I can get back to the drawing board! Then I will have time to paint that painting , then I will have time to get all those ideas clamoring in my head onto the medium of choice! But in the meantime I feel listless and unmotivated, depressed and anxious. A part of me is being sorely neglected by being so cut back. My work can not make up for this.


I will just have to wait this out of course. My boyfriend does not understand my needs in this but at least he does not openly attack me for it. It's amazing how men can look at you and say "wow, that's really cool, you are so creative!" until they realize that it means for a few hours a week you are paying attention to something other than themselves. Throughout my relationships some have been supportive (to a point) and some have been outright hostile. But I have learned the hard way that living without any art at all is the equivalent of a living death.


Simple Wedding

21:04 Edit This 1 Comment »
This afternoon I attended the wedding of a good friend. It was held at his father's home with a Justice of the Peace and a small circle of the happy couple's close friends.

The ceremony was simple and heartfelt. The JP was a lovely lady who had clearly been doing this for a while, very smoothly arranging people and gently helping along a very shy bride. Steph is a wonderful person but public speaking clearly makes her uncomfortable. Despite this the emotion and love for her husband shone through and there were very few dry eyes in the place. Likewise Gerard's spoken vows were heartfelt and sincere and I do believe together they will make a lifelong partnership.

I found myself wondering (quite naturally) what my own wedding may be like if I ever find myself at that place with someone. The appeal of a small and intimate ceremony like this is very strong but with my extended family plus close friends something this small would never be an option. Still, in my experience the smaller weddings are more memorable because of the relative closeness of everyone involved.

The banter was enjoyable as we mingled and caught up with each other's lives. While everyone there are good friends of the Gerard and Steph, several of us don't see each other all that often. Cameras were flashing (of course) and good natured jokes about the groom's brother joining the paparazzi (while sidelining as an urban ninja) made for some good times. This continued at a restaurant for a few more hours for the dinner before we parted ways. Once I get my film developed I can send them my shots and vice versa.

All in all this was a good day and I felt honoured to be a part of it. There is something very special in that public and legal declaration of commitment to each other that is a joy to be a part of.

A little more about me...

21:08 Edit This 0 Comments »
Still working on the "About me" part of things, I wrote the small bit to go on the side and I felt there were a few things that could be elaborated on.

Well, I am one of those odd people that honestly enjoys a lot of different things. I am as happy in an art gallery as I am on a forest trail. And there have been days where getting lost was the best thing to happen to me so I really don't mind if I'm off the beaten track. I think we all desperately need adventure on a quasi regular basis to shake things up and keep us grounded. I believe that real growth comes from confronting that which terrifies, excites, infuriates and exhausts you. These experiences can come from without (jumping out of a perfectly good airplane when you are afraid of heights) and within (choosing to break a negative cycle of thought or behavior). And I firmly believe that trying new things for the sake of breaking worn habits is a great way to expand your horizons. They may not work, you may not enjoy them, but the important thing is that for that span of time you tried to see something from a different angle.

Yes I am a woman and yes I happen to love my curves - even when in slight excess! I believe that regular excersise is a must throughout life, not because I am a slave to the BMI, instead I honestly see and feel the benefits. I can look back over times 'with' and 'without' and honestly say that 'with' regular excersize I am happier, healthier, need less sleep, have more energy and enthusiasm, and my sex life rocks! Those are the types of reasons that really matter in life. I read an entry written by JK Rowling in which she was recounting an experience where she was congratulated for loosing weight. Never mind the fact that she recently had a beautiful healthy baby, never mind a new book had been published. Her dress size seemed the most important thing to this other person. That, to me, is a sad state of affairs and the honest truth is that we have all experienced it in one degree or another. I will never be the "perfect" weight espoused in magazines and movies and frankly I don't give a damn. I would rather have a strong body anyday.

I don't want to judge you by race, language, colour, sex, income, parentage, job title, employment status or how many children you have. I will judge you based on how you interact with and treat other people from family to friends to strangers. Having said that, experience has taught me that certain types of men seem to equate me answering a question (ie. do you know what time it is?) with being one step away from accepting a marriage proposal. So I try to avoid being alone at a bus stop with those types of men. No offence guys, I just don't feel that way!

I think that is it for now. Other ideas are brewing in the back of my mind but I will save those for another entry. Good night!

An Introduction of Sorts?

21:19 Edit This 2 Comments »



I have toyed with the idea of a blog for some time now. I've had various sites before for sharing photos and I even had set up something in MySpace, at least, it was there until I finally got fed up with the constant freezing and crashing. I have numerous ways to dribble away my spare time without choosing something destined to constantly agravate. So now I shall work at it from this angle and see if it pleases me in the end.


This blog, my small Inn at a set of crossroads, shall be a place where I share images and thoughts about the world around me and occasionally the world within. Sometimes I will post a poem or quote that completely resonates with me. Sometimes I will post one of my own compositions. And sometimes I may actually have something relevant to you, dear Reader. Only time will tell. And yes, as the title implies (and the welcome message) feel free to comment or share. We all have had our share of adventures, and we all have stories to tell. This is an Inn (of sorts) as opposed to strictly a journal.


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