Feeling Strange
19:00 Posted In life Edit This 1 Comment »
It's hard to say exactly, how I am feeling today. My day has been quiet for certain. Tired yet not tired, a little blue yet I have some contentment in the small things today. A cold seems perched on the edge of my lungs. Perhaps with enough sleep and a break from the stresses it can be convinced to leave. Perhaps I need a good cry.
Even the cat has been subdued as it is near dinner time and he has not stirred to ask for food, normally he would have started poking me at least an hour ago.
In the process of cleaning the basement my parents have passed some items on to me, including some items that belonged to my grandmother. The scent in the box brings with it a lot of memories and thoughts. I find myself missing her, and wondering about her life.
I once again feel as the odd one out at work, unappreciated yet expected to look after things so others can go off and do their own thing. It is in part that plus the increased stress and tension at work that I am taking an extra day this long weekend. Despite the workload I need the break.
I thought there was someone with whom I could open up and be close, but he has firmly pushed me away. I understand the why, but it still hurts regardless. Are we going to remain friends or is he going to shut me out completely? At this point I have no idea what is going to happen next.
My old insecurities have woken and are rattling around in their cage. For the moment I shall just curl up in my studio and shut out the world. Creativity does not come easy when I feel this way but I feel I need some attempt at it to restore my equilibrium. If it goes well it can help shore up my tired spirit. I will be out in the world again soon enough.
1 comment:
*huggles* I'm sorry to hear you're blue, dearie. :( Know that you have friends who will stand by you regardless and who will support not just your happiness but also your dreams.
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